David’s Indulgence

There’s a scene that has always bothered me about King David. Just after his son Absalom dies, David goes into deep mourning. Understandable of course, but remembering that it was Absalom that led a revolt against his father, split the Kingdom, caused immeasurable harm to David, his wives and to the nation, after much fighting and four years on the run, his people needed something more from him.

In the victory over the would be usurper, they needed their King as a father to the nation, and David wasn’t there. It took David’s ruthless general, Joab, to come in and force him to address the needs of his people.¹

In his youth, David was fearless, borderline reckless. In his certainty before the Lord, he rose to fame and power because he took on Goliath with a sling and a few pebbles.² In his war with Saul, he refused to act against God’s anointed King a couple of times, but was courageous in showing Saul his faults, risking his own life in the process.³ David took on foreign nations without pause, and danced gleefully before the Ark of the Covenant upon its return to Jerusalem. When his first wife, Michal, chastised him, David reproached her and refused to back down.⁴

But, towards his children he grew increasingly indulgent and absent. He did little about Amnon who raped his half sister. David was angry but didn’t discipline Amnon, and therefore set a precedent for the other sons to disobey. It was Absalom who acted on behalf of his sister, and thus began to garner influence inside and outside of the family.⁵ Early warnings of Absalom’s ambitions were ignored as David seemed to be increasingly retreating into himself, allowing for Absalom to be able to sway so many towards him. Later, David’s son Adonijah saw the opening in his father’s absence, and, as David was dying, took the opportunity to try to rise to Kingship. It took the intervention of the prophet Nathan and Solomon’s mother Bathsheba to put Solomon on the throne in his stead.

What has bothered me about this is that I can’t place whether his indulgence is his strength or weakness. We know that David had a heart like God’s.⁶ It is this generosity that regularly extends mercy towards his family (and firmness but fairness outside⁷) and mourns for the lost. We see this same generosity of spirit in Jesus’ own parables of the Prodigal Son⁸ and the Lost Sheep⁹. Was David negligent or merciful? Was he absent, or full of patience? Was his lack of discipline indulgence, or fidelity to his children and one whereupon he was giving them the chance to do what was right? In other words, is God indulgent towards us in the same degree that David was indulgent towards his children?

1. 2 Samuel 19:5-7 ↩︎
2. 1 Samuel 17 ↩︎
3. 1 Samuel 24 and 26 ↩︎
4. 2 Samuel 6:14-21 ↩︎
5. 2 Samuel 13 ↩︎
6. 1 Samuel 13:14 ↩︎
7. 2 Samuel 1:1-16 ↩︎
8. Luke 15:11-32 ↩︎
9. Luke 15:1-7 ↩︎